I recently recieved this memo in refference to a book we recently became aware of.
From: Bartholemew Wiggins
To: The Lord High Dragon
Subject: Dummies in Narnia
1. It has been reported to me by the Sheriff of Narnia that Dummies have been arriving on tourist buses carrying a guide titled “Dummies Guide to Narnia.”
2. Since the aforementioned dummies did not have the necessary Visa’s they have been put on the buses and sent back to the port of entry, Cair Paravel on the Eastern Sea.
3. Our own security forces in SpareOom, consisting of the constabulary forces: Terwilliger Turtle (chief jailer), Reginald Rat (keeper of the keys), and Constable Blishimer Bilge, a Swamprat of legendary ability (too bad he doesn’t have much real ability) have been told to standdown.
4. SpareOom Homeland Security consisting currently of a single talking Toad with an office has been forwarded this memo. We are on the lookout for the sequel which could be quite dangerous: “The Dummies’ Guide to SpareOom” — should this come out we might be receiving unwelcome visitors. On the bright side, some of them may be edible.
5. We have some notification from High Town that buses can sometimes pop right up out of the ground through pores or something. Seems unlikely but one never knows. Make a not of this Garnish. (note to dragon: Garnish is the talking Toad that you appointed to head the SpareOom Homeland Security office — I only met him last week.)
6. I await your attention to this matter and direction as to the security preparations which should be undertaken.
Yours very sincerely,
Secretary to the Lord High Dragon